Criteria to live

and do things in the volunteer world where people like a certain well known face did speechless things to vulnerable people ... the one I took a photo of in the 80s at the London Marathon which every year brings back memories of being shown how best to see various aspects of this Route ...

It was hard to fathom lost paperwork and gaps in time ... the criteria for me in the application not forthcoming from two strands of people ... again the thinking there is something or someone for everyone ... 

I will not name them and shame em yet ... 

One of my referees still lives and works in the same place fortunately ... I was able to source a past and the recent one only understood after re explaining .. 

Again the criteria conflicts with the info within ... I had to be forthright ...

The being exposed to the local news in Kernow too ...

A very interesting time for mental health care taken away and now put back in a town thanks to the awareness of a family of a youth committing suicide as an in patient ... it made the family aware of the lost youth on the brink of manhood and I think changing the age range of those on the brink of adulthood ...those lost in care assistance for it is non existent until the families campaign opened up a unit ... 

A phase in wallop

set ... the pain in heart no one sees ...

A time in a step on again with plans more ... a weekend a sister will be in support of again ... for some measures to keep me afloat with grief stirred up from the current loss within the family and the March first anniversary of a mum in law left me with no warm person who is or was always delighted to see me. Those twinkles when someone really cares about you on a personal level 

You just don't get that with the agencies ... 

Guidelines of others

...spout ...

I have returned to the kitchen cupboards to see what was not used ... into the donation box ... or in to my shopping trolley that is the case for me ...

The plans in tandem

A time in action, the time away to get inspired. 

The miss in much reducing to just the occasion spurts of frustration. The routines formed anew in spasms of time more. And again in Spring clean season, I have more space in layers appearing. 

The knowledge more hands on the deck, now the driving experience gained in the two newest drivers this year helps particularly... all those plans formed now happening .... and happening in this time that will always move on ... 

The abundance in this year to gain more momentum to those plans of life not here ... I have no interest to put further roots down here. I am happier in two other places. One permantly and another briefly in segments ... 

The knowledge too, that when those are reduced in Cornwall, I can still aspire to swim, cycle and row once more. The fact of being near the coast in space of tors and cliffs and trails, coves and lanes ... meadows, forests ... valleys and hill walking plenty ...

The diverse terrain of my beloved county I grew in the formative years that stays with you ... 

... Exterminate ...

a life lumber ...

... the creativity suppressed for a long time ...

Thy creative ways in blogs not the rooms walls ... all the while blockades of time in the way of the walls in places ... I have a real pinky theme going on one blog: published for my eyes only currently ... 

... Although no way, would I decorate my home with some of the designs ... and the stamps stencils and crafts now hidden in the muck of unnecessary stuff to me left .... 

When the majority said I am still young to get married again. I think the stuff surround will put me off... I have the pulls and tugs of the nest experience again ... do I, don't I ... 

My current health status brings this to the fore ... reminding to rid the unnecessary and just keep the basic functions to go back out in the world again ...

Little snippets of

festive feasts in store this weekend. And a sunrise walk out to finish the shopping from before and met some more amazing people. The style of shoppings gives clues to much, and many talking points. 

I need to remember to tell sister (who is single) she needs to go shopping more (she lives back at home with Mum) there are plenty of singles in the aisles to meet ... ! 

... now more decisions

the phase into another year .... housing options and aspirations beyond the door in tandem with the shuffle and dispersal ... the plans for the long in short. 

Already many difficulties along with anger and stuff. The long term shock in grief never far away despite this revival ... 

The spaciousness slow in appearing. I still a lot to get on top of. The health appointments another to bring in line again ... 

That life easily falls apart in part and stays there. It is as hard to clamber back in and on the ride as was, as it was in how long it came upon us ...